You know how there are some menu items that chefs would never order because they know too much? Well, the same applies to the world of sex toys.
As a sex educator who reviews pleasure products for a living, there are certain things I’ve learned to avoid, and I’m here to impart that knowledge. Follow along as I detail the top 5 things I would never do so you can not do them, too!
1. Use Products That Aren't Body-Safe
First, I will never use pleasure products made from porous materials like PVC, commonly known as jelly rubber. Yes, they're less expensive and can seem like the best budget-friendly option — but trust me — it’s not worth the risk.
Toys made from porous materials can harbor bacteria, mold, and viruses, and can even give you STIs if you share them or use them again after you've been treated for an infection.And no, washing doesn't help. Porous toys absorb pathogens that are impossible to get rid of no matter how much you clean them.
Before you put anything inside your body, make sure it’s made from non-porous, body-safe materials like silicone, glass, or stainless steel.
Not sure which toys make the cut? Read this article for more details about what’s body-safe and what’s not, as well as a look at some of my favorite body-safe products!
2. Insert Anything Before I'm Aroused
Second, I will never try to insert anything anywhere unless I am fully aroused. When your body is properly aroused, erectile tissue swells, expands, and lubricates, making penetration feel pleasurable for the receiver. When you're not aroused, insertion can feel painful, uncomfortable, or like nothing at all.
3. Skimp On Lube
Number 3 is a 3-parter all about lube: I will never use silicone lube on silicone toys, use pure coconut oil as lube, or neglect to use lube altogether. Let’s unpack these don’ts one by one.
Silicone-based lubricants are delightfully slippery and long-lasting, but can easily damage silicone toys. Instead, go for water-based, oil-based, or hybrid lubes to protect the integrity of your silicone sex toys.
Regardless of sex toy material, it’s not a good idea to use pure coconut oil as lube because it can easily disrupt vaginal pH and clog pores. Perhaps most important, coconut oil can damage or destroy latex barrier methods (like condoms, dental dams, etc.) which can result in STI or pregnancy.
In general, the best lube is lube. Lubricants that are formulated specifically for sex are always better options than cooking oils.
This last part is more of a personal preference, but I use lube every time, no matter how naturally lubricated I am. Again, this isn’t mandatory, but it can make intimate acts feel much more pleasurable. Penetration, in particular, is made much more comfortable if you lube up first. Remember: wetter is better!
Shop: Browse all lubricants here!
4. Go Flare-Free
Repeat after me: I will never insert anything anally unless it has a flared base!
Anything you put in your bum must have a flared base, meaning the bottom of the toy has to be bigger than the rest of it. The base can be circular, square, or T-bar shaped — as long as it’s flared.
Why? Well, if you insert a toy that doesn’t have a flared base, there’s a chance it might not come back out. Avoid an uncomfortable trip to the ER by using anal-safe toys only!
5. Buy Sex Toys On Amazon
Finally, I will never buy sex toys on Amazon, and not just because of its unethical treatment of employees.
Amazon is notorious for selling toys made from toxic materials, as well as counterfeit toys that look like the real deal, but are actually low quality knockoffs. In fact, many popular sex toy brands (like njoy, for example) do not permit their products to be sold on Amazon to protect people from being duped into buying fake toys.
If you find a cheap pleasure product on Amazon and think, “Wow, this price is too good to be true!,” that’s because it is.
More: Not convinced? Read our full article on why you shouldn’t buy sex toys on Amazon!
Now that you’ve seen my personal list of no-nos, maybe you’re inspired to come up with a list of your own! What are your personal sexual boundaries, your must-haves and must never dos?
If you have any questions about my rules (or your own!), just send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll be happy to help. In the meantime, don’t forget to follow Delicto on TikTok and Instagram for more sex education, toy reviews, and how-to guides.