Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo Review

Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo Review

Sarah Riccio

Cum one, cum all! Welcome to my review of the Strap-On-Me Silicone Cum Dildo. As its name implies, the Cum Dildo does a lot more than just stand there looking sexy. With a little help from you, this dildo sprays and squirts like the real thing, except it never needs to rest between sessions. 

Intrigued? Cam performers, cum lovers, and strap-on players — this review is for you. 


Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo Unboxing

The Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo comes in a simple cardboard box and includes a user manual and silky travel pouch. The box probably isn’t sturdy enough to use as long-term storage, but the drawstring bag is a perfect way to protect your toy and keep it dust-free.

You’ll notice that this toy does not include its most important selling point — synthetic cum. But don’t worry! I’ll point you toward some great options, including 3 quick and fun recipes for fake (edible!) cum so authentic you’ll swear it’s real.  

Strap-on-me cum dildo

Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo At A Glance

Too busy to read my full review? Check out the Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo’s quick stats:

  • Made from super-soft, body-safe silicone
  • Available in black and vanilla colors
  • Large size
  • Non-porous and easy to clean
  • 7.7 inches in total length, 7.2 insertable
  • Harness compatible for strap-on play
  • Slight curve for G-spot and prostate stimulation
  • Fully waterproof for bath and shower play]
  • Compatible with water-based and hybrid lubricants 
  • Ejaculates through a hole in the head of the dildo via plastic tubing and a syringe

cum dildo

How Does The Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo Feel?

The Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo has a medium-soft density with a bit of bend. That means it maintains its shape well without being stiff or hard, and will flex slightly. When you think of medium-soft density, imagine a dildo that gives a little when you squeeze it but pushes back with a nice solid core.  

Medium-soft is one of the most popular dildo densities for its authentic and comfortable feel. If you’re looking for a toy that feels similar to a real penis, this is a great option.

As for size, the Cum Dildo feels pleasantly long and girthy but isn’t overly large. At just over 7 insertable inches, this is a dildo that stretches the nerves without too much effort or discomfort. I’m also a big fan of the Cum Dildo’s shape, which is perfectly angled to stimulate the G- and P-spot.    

how to use the strap-on-me cum dildo

How Does The Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo Work?  

The Cum Dildo looks and feels like a typical silicone dildo, except for its unique ejaculation feature. Clear plastic tubing leads from a black syringe device through the base of the dildo into the shaft. The syringe is capable of holding up to 30 milliliters — about one full ounce — of the cum substitute of your choice. 

The good people at Strap-On-Me recommend using a cum-style lube called Creamy, but it doesn’t appear to be available in the United States. I prefer to make my own fake cum, anyway, so I can adjust the recipe to the consistency and taste I like. 

You can find my easy (and actually sort of delish) cum recipes at the end of this review, or in my how-to article called How To Make Fake Cum on delicto.com. 

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How To Use the Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo

The Cum Dildo may sound complex, but it’s easy and intuitive to use. Just follow these simple steps:

  • Fill the syringe. Pull out the removable plunger and carefully fill the cavity with faux cum. I like to use a measuring cup with a spout for less mess, but you can also use a spoon. You don’t have to fill the syringe completely, but feel free to load it to the brim.  
  • Play as usual. You can use the dildo as you normally would, but the attached tubing means you’ll have a little less flexibility. If you’re performing for clients, you can tuck the tubing under fabric or keep the base out of sight. Harness users can keep the syringe in hand during play or tuck it into a harness pocket until you’re ready for blast-off.  
  • Cum at will. When it’s go time, just press the plunger and enjoy the show. And no need to be worried about an anticlimactic dribble with this dildo. Every time I’ve used it, I’ve been surprised at the force and authentic look of the ejaculation. This toy bills itself as a cum dildo and it doesn’t disappoint.  

Strap-on-me black cum dildo

The Cum Dildo has a lot to recommend it, including a crowd-pleasing size and ease of use. But before you decide if it’s right for you, let’s take a deeper look at this toy’s pros and cons. 

Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo Pros

When reviewing the Cum Dildo, a few things stood out in my mind.

  • First, this dildo is just fun to play with, even without the ejculation feature. It's super-smooth with a nice squeezable density, and offers plenty of length to enjoy. 
  • The curve of the Cum Dildo is just right for pegging and strap-on play, which to me is key in a harness-compatible toy.  
  • This toy is waterproof, which makes it a great bathtime toy and a cinch to clean. Mild soap and water or toy cleaner work well for the dildo, syringe, and tubing. Rinse all the components thoroughly before air drying or drying with a clean towel.  
  • The biggest draw of this toy, in my opinion, is its ability to ejaculate a substantial amount of real-looking cum. In the end, this dildo is all about cum fantasies, whether your own, your partner’s, or your audience’s. If that sounds like something you’d enjoy, I heartily recommend giving it a try. 

Strap-on-me cum dildo with syringe

Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo Cons

There are a few things to consider before you pull the trigger on this toy, so let’s take a quick look at potential complaints.

  • When cleaning this toy, make sure you’re thoroughly cleaning the inside, too. Just pump a solution of soap and water or toy cleaner through the tubing and syringe, and do it as often as needed until all fake cum, lubricant, and bodily fluids are washed away. 
  • First, the obvious: the tubing is a bit long and could potentially get in the way or feel unwieldy. To minimize this issue, make sure the tubing is tucked away or hanging completely free, and isn’t wrapped up on you or your partner. 

Strap-on-me cum dildo tubing

The Cum Dildo's tubing can be cut to customize its length, but while using this dildo, I found that longer tubing gave me more leeway to switch positions. I suggest experimenting with it a few times to see what works best for you.  

Despite a few small concerns, this dildo does exactly what it’s designed to do and is a perfect addition to roleplay or solo pleasure sessions. It’s joined my rotation as one of my favorites, and is proving to be durable as well as a lot of fun. 

Final Thoughts

Thank you for cumming along for my Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo review (and for letting me squeeze out one more pun…)! If you’re still not sure if the Cum Dildo is the best toy for you, feel free to reach out by email or DM me on Instagram or TikTok for a personalized recommendation. I’m always glad to help you find the perfect pleasure product.

In the meantime, don’t forget to check out these easy faux cum recipes! 

 How to Make Fake Cum

If you’re reading this, you’ve reached a point where you need to learn how to make fake cum — and for that, I congratulate you. Whether it’s because of a yet-to-be-explored fetish, idle curiosity, or the sheer fun of it, you’ve come to the right place. In this guide, I detail my three favorite fake cum recipes, along with tips and tricks for maximum enjoyment!

What is Fake Cum?

First things first: what is fake cum, anyway? Simply put, it’s an artificial substance created to look, feel, and (sometimes) taste like real semen. Believe it or not, the geysers of cum you see in porn videos are often artificial, because the human body can only produce so much in a day. 

There are lots of ways to have fun with fake cum (we’ll get into that next), but they almost always involve being squirted on or into someone’s body. That means your fake cum should be body-safe and/or safe to ingest, and not every cum-style product meets that criteria. Fortunately, each recipe in this guide is safe enough to eat, and can be made from items you probably already have on hand.

How to Use Fake Cum

Before we step into the kitchen, let’s discuss some of the wonderful ways you can use your finished product. Fake cum can factor into all kinds of play, with or without the presence of a penis. Take a look below:

  • Squirting Dildo. Squirting dildos are super fun, especially if you’re into strap-on play. They’re ideal for folks who don’t have a penis and/or can’t produce semen naturally. Just fill it with fake cum, ride it to your heart’s content, and enjoy the juicy grand finale. Check out my favorite squirting dildo in my full Strap-On-Me Cum Dildo review! 
  • Facial Fun. Using fake cum is a great way to explore facial or bukkake play, especially since you can whip up an unnaturally large amount. Use a squirting dildo to cover your lover’s face, paint it on with your fingers, or drip the cum directly from your mixing bowl. 
  • Creampies. Want to fill your partner to the brim but don’t have quite enough volume for a creampie? Fake cum to the rescue! This is another great opportunity for a squirting dildo, but feel free to explore different methods with your favorite cum-substitute. And trust me: when you watch it drip out, it looks very real.
  • ED Assistance. Those with erectile dysfunction might want to become friendly with fake cum. Having a batch warmed up and ready to go can really take the pressure off of producing on demand. Plus, introducing different kinds of cum play can ignite fresh, new arousal between you and your partner. 
  • Breeding Kink. Some folks have a breeding kink, wherein the act of pretending to impregnate someone, or be impregnated, feeds into sexual fantasy and arousal. If this sounds like you, try adding fake cum to your arsenal. It looks and feels like semen, but poses no threat of actual pregnancy. 

Ultimately, just about anything you can do with real cum can be done with your own homemade concoction. The real question is… which cum recipe is best for you? I’ve listed my top three favorite recipes below, all of which are edible and easy to make. So without further ado, let’s get cooking.

Best Fake Cum Recipes

Here you’ll find my three favorite fake cum recipes. Take note that while they’re all safe for consumption, not all are safe for vaginal insertion. You can rub all three over your body and consume as much as you like, but only one is 100% safe for internal use. Let’s take a look!

Easiest to Make Fake Cum (Body-Safe & Edible)

Short on time? This is the best (and easiest!) recipe for fake cum in a hurry

For this fake cum recipe, you will need:

  • Water
  • Plain yogurt

Directions: 

  • Mix 4 parts plain yogurt with 1 part water 
  • Whisk until you reach the desired texture
  • Add more yogurt for a thicker consistency
  • Add more water for a thinner consistency

See? I told you it was an easy one. This recipe is body-safe and edible  so feel free to get creative with it. Quick note: I wouldn’t use this, or any fake cum, as lubricant because the best lube… is lube! If you need a good glide, take a moment to browse our full collection of lubricants

Most Realistic Fake Cum (Edible only)

Looking for the fake cum that doesn’t look fake? This is the recipe I found to be most realistic! 

For this fake cum recipe, you will need:

  • 1 egg white
  • 1 cup water
  • 1 tbsp. Greek yogurt 
  • 2 tbsp. cornstarch 
  • Salt to taste

Directions:

  • Mix cornstarch with ¼ cup of water until dissolved
  • Bring ¾ cup of water to a boil
  • Once stovetop water boils, add cornstarch mixture 
  • When it thickens, remove from heat and let cool
  • Once cool, add egg white, yogurt, salt
  • Whisk/add salt until desired consistency and taste is achieved! 

This recipe is a bit more involved, but the results are surprisingly authentic! Keep in mind that salt is optional here, but does make it taste more like the real thing, in my experience. Additionally, this recipe contains animal protein, which means it’s safe to eat, but could potentially disrupt your vagina’s delicate ecosystem. Best to reserve this one for external use only. 

More: Shop vaginal health products!

Best Tasting Fake Cum (Edible only)

If taste is your primary concern, this dessert-like recipe will be a treat!

For this fake cum recipe, you will need:

  • 1 cup water
  • 1 heaping tbsp. cornstarch
  •  1.5 tsp. sugar
  • .5 tsp. coconut oil (optional)

Directions:

  • Mix cornstarch with ¼ cup of water until dissolved
  • Add cornstarch mixture and all remaining ingredients to a pan, bring to boil
  • Stir consistently until all ingredients are fully combined 
  • Remove from heat and let cool 

This may not be the most realistic recipe on this list, but it’s definitely the tastiest. If facial play is your main motivation, this is the fake cum I’d choose. And feel free to add a little extra sugar, if you like (I won’t tell!). Just remember that, while this concoction is edible, it’s not meant to be used as lube or inserted into the vagina.

Final Thoughts

You’ve perused my favorite fake cum recipes and are ready to cook up some fun. Before you go, keep these things in mind:

  • Food allergies still apply. This goes without saying, but if you’re allergic to any of the ingredients listed above, do not use them on or inside your body.  
  • Fresh is best. While you could technically store batches of cum in the refrigerator, I suggest using it immediately. As with anything you cook, fresher is better!
  • Try Methylcellulose as an alternative. If none of these homemade recipes appeal to you, look into methylcellulose. It’s what’s typically used in porn videos, and can safely be inserted into the body. Just be sure to dilute it with water, as its consistency is quite thick! 

Now that you’re a master of fake cum, go forth and share the spoils with your partners! And don’t forget to follow us on TikTok and Instagram for more sex toy reviews, tutorials, and sex education. Bon appétit