If you're wondering how to increase stamina, make climaxes feel better, and maximize your physical control, listen up: a simple but extremely effective technique may be all you need.
This technique is called edging, and it doesn't require any particular knowledge or equipment to put into practice. Read on to find out what edging is, how to do it, and the best toys for making it more pleasurable and effective.
What Is Edging?
Edging involves masturbating almost to the point of orgasm and staying on the brink of climax as long as you can. Edging not only feels good, it can intensify sexual sensations and help you have more control over orgasm with a partner. Edging is a great way to learn how your body responds to different stimulation and discover what feels best to you.
Sometimes referred to as surfing, peaking, or teasing, edging was originally designed to treat premature ejaculation. It's still a very effective technique for delaying orgasm and learning to control your sexual responses.
How Does Edging Work?
Studies suggest that people who are more mindful during sex tend to have better control over their climaxes. Edging works by helping you develop mindfulness and become more aware of your arousal levels. The technique allows you to reach the brink of orgasm, back off, and then reach it again repeatedly.
The goal is to sustain a high level of arousal without having an orgasm until you're ready. As you learn to edge, you'll pay close attention to physical cues that signal an impending orgasm, like increased heart rate and muscle tension.
The Four Stages of Arousal
Edging helps you recognize and navigate through the four unique stages of arousal. These four stages include:
This initial stage is characterized by an increase in heart rate and blood flow to the genitals, leading to an erection for men or lubrication and swelling for women. This is the stage when pleasure and anticipation build and edging comes into play. It's crucial not to rush toward orgasm, but to focus on how your body feels and responds to different kinds of stimulation.
In this stage, stimulation continues while you practice keeping control over the sensations you feel. Edging during the plateau stage can be described as walking along a cliff but staying just away from the edge.
This stage is typically brief but extremely intense. Orgasm is characterized by muscle contractions that result in either ejaculation for men or contractions of the pelvic floor muscles, vagina, and uterus in women. In traditional sexual encounters, this might signify the end if pleasure, but in the case of edging, prolonging sensual enjoyment is the goal.
During resolution, also known as the refractory period, your heart rate and breathing return to normal and your body relaxes. You typically feel the effects of the chemicals released during orgasm like oxytocin and dopamine, which can make you feel relaxed and ready to sleep or cuddle with a partner.
Learn more: How Do I Know If I Had An Orgasm?
When To Practice Edging
It's best to practice edging during solo play when you first begin. Not only does masturbation give you the time and space you need to explore without pressure, it can help you experiment with different self-pleasure methods and types of stimulation.
Besides helping you understand your personal pleasure preferences, regular masturbation also helps you build stamina by training your body to expect delayed gratification.
Learn more: 6 Reasons Why You Should Masturbate
Preparing To Edge
There are several ways to practice edging, and you can utilize one or all of them as you discover your body's responses and what works best for you. But first, make sure you're set up for the best edging experience with these tips:
Have plenty of lube on hand and reapply as necessary. Lube increases glide and cuts down on friction for the most pleasurable experience possible.
Not sure which lube is right for you? Check out How To Choose A Lube
Don't grip tightly
If you have a penis and are using your hand, avoid a tight grip. Using a tight grip on your penis can cause microinjuries and even nerve damage over time, leading to erectile dysfunction, loss of sensitivity, trouble performing with a partner, and other effects known as death grip syndrome.
If you have difficulty maintaining a looser grip, try using a sex toy like a stroker or sleeve to help prevent you from gripping too firmly.
For more about what death grip syndrome, how to avoid it, and how to recover from it: What Is Death Grip Syndrome?
Create the right environment
A calm, private environment can help you focus on pleasure and your edging practice without distractions. If you live with other people, using a fan or white noise machine can help mask any sounds and make you feel more relaxed.
Some of us also like to light candles, play music, or read erotica to help us set the mood ahead of time.
How To Edge
The stop-start method entails stimulating yourself until you get to the edge of climax, then stopping all stimulation. Once your arousal subsides slightly, start again.
The key to mastering this method is to pay close attention to your body's cues while you masturbate. Whether you slow down or stop entirely will involve some trial and error, but will typically become easier over time.
To use the stop-start method:
- Imagine rating your arousal on a scale from one (least aroused) to ten (orgasm). Aim for maintaining at around seven or eight, where you feel highly stimulated but still in control
- Your goal should be to avoid the point of no return when orgasm becomes inevitable
- If you get close, slow down, breathe deeply, and allow the urge to climax to pass before you begin again. Focus on your breath instead of the how your body feels until the desire subsides
As you repeat the process, pay attention to the signals that an orgasm is close. Does your heart speed up? Do you breathe faster? Your muscles might tighten or your arms and legs shake. Paying attention to these cues can help you slow down and control your orgasm, so you can climax when you want to.
This method can be helpful if you need quick control over ejaculation. As you feel yourself approaching orgasm, apply pressure to the penis or clitoris using your thumb and forefinger. This can help to reduce tension in the muscles involved in orgasm and temporarily delay a climax.
Ballooning can help you maintain a high level of arousal without reaching a full-blown orgasm. This can be a particularly good technique if you tend to climax quickly or have less control with a partner than you'd like.
Ballooning involves massaging sensitive areas of the penis or clitoris while avoiding the kind of direct stimulation that can result in climax. You might stimulate the base of the penis instead of the head or avoid direct contact with the clitoris in favor of the hood and labia.
Sex toy method
Vibrators, air pressure toys, and strokers offer other ways to experiment with edging. These toys provide intense localized sensations that stimulation with your hand might not achieve. By experimenting with different settings, you can discover which intensity levels feel the best for you, but also allow you to control your orgasm.
Best Sex Toys for Edging
If your goal is to master your body’s responses and control your orgasms, the right sex toy can help! Not only can a toy get you excited faster, it can bring you to the brink of orgasm more quickly and do it again, and again, and again.
Here are my picks for the best toys for edging.
Best penis stroker
Fun Factory Manta This open silicone stroker is super-stimulating, the vibrations are rumbly, and it’s very easy to control. The intuitive operating panel and raised buttons make this edging favorite easy to switch off when an orgasm is coming down the pike. If you find strokers hard to maneuver during edging because they cover so much of the shaft, the Manta will be a very pleasurable surprise.
Best budget stoker
ROMP Mosh Want something simple and budget-friendly that works well for edging? The Mosh is a clear, open-ended sleeve that adds a nice textured boost of stimulation and is well under $20.
Best stroker for smaller penises
Tenga Flip Zero Gravity This bestselling stroker features dense, intricate texture from the entrance point to the end, making it a great choice for short, fast stroking and anatomies of all sizes. This non-vibrating toy is renowed for its squishy-soft interior and flip open case that makes it easy to clean and dry.
Best clitoral vibrator
Lovense Domi Wand Think you have control over your orgasms? Try the Lovense Domi and get back to me. This mid-sized wand delivers deep, nerve-penetrating vibration that will dare you not to climax. Use your phone to operate this Bluetooth beauty or let your partner take the reins from anywhere in the world.
Best air pressure toy
We-Vibe Melt This air pressure toy has it all: powerful air pulses, app control, and a low-profile, ergonomic shape that makes it a cinch to pull away when you’re on the brink of exploding. If you found the Rose toy awkward to hold (and difficult to clean!) the Melt is an orgasmic step up.
Best G-Spot toy
Pillow Talk Sassy If your G-spot is the way to your orgasmic heart, you must experience the Pillow Talk Sassy. This sex blogger favorite features a perfectly curved shaft and a girthy internal stimulator for nerve-stretching pleasure. It’s also great for clitoral stimulation for those who like to edge by switching hot spots.
Best budget vibrator
Hot Octopuss Amo If you want to try edging but are short on funds, the Hot Octopuss Amo delivers luxury vibes for a budget price. This compact, travel-friendly toy is rumbly, waterproof, and makes the perfect discreet companion for your edging practice.
Shop our complete Best Toys For Edging collection