How to use a grinding toy

How To Use a Grinding Toy

Rose MacDowell

New to the joys of grinding toys? Not sure how to use one or if they're right for you? Join me as I discuss how grinding toys work, different ways to enjoy them, and why they can open up a whole new world of clitoral pleasure.

What Are Grinding Toys?

Grinding toys are sex toys designed for stimulating the clitoris and vulva, and that are intended to be rubbed or grinded against. Most grinding toys deliver stimulation through a combination of vibration and the pressure of your body weight.

In addition to vibration, grinding toys may include other features such as:

  • Warming functions
  • Flickering silicone "tongues" 
  • Textured surfaces
  • Dildos for internal and G-spot stimulation

Grinding toys are typically made from body-safe silicone and often include a remote control so they can be operated hands-free. 

Learn more: What is Body-Safe Silicone? 

What Do Grinding Toys Look Like?

Grinding toys often have a wave-like shape with a central indentation for grinding. Larger than many other types of clitoral stimulators, grinding toys are designed to stimulate not only the clitoris, but the vulva and vaginal opening, too.

Some grinding toys are also large enough to stimulate the perineum and anal area. 

How can you tell a grinding toy from other kinds of sex toys? You won't typically see a handle, rounded head, or phallic shape when shopping for a toy designed for grinding. Instead, look for an oval pad or a toy with a saddle-type shape. 

In terms of dimension, most grinding toys are several inches long, up to around 11 or 12 total in total length. 

Check out one of our most popular grinding toys! Watch our review of the original Vibepad

How To Use a Grinding Toy

Using a grinding toy may seem simple. Just sit down, switch it on, and go, right? Yes, but there are some things to know about grinding toys that can maximize your pleasure. 

First, where to use it! Unlike other clitoral stimulators like wands and air pressure toys, a grinding toy can be set down on a surface, kind of like a seat cushion. You can try putting a grinding toy on:

  • A bed
  • Your partner's leg
  • A bench
  • The arm of a sofa
  • A chair
  • The floor
  • The passenger's seat of a car

As you can see, any flat surface is a good potential spot for a grinding toy! Just make sure it's securely in place before using it. Another great thing about grinders is that your body weight can help hold them in place, even on a curved surface like the arm of a chair. 

If you'd rather lie in bed and relax, you can do that with a grinding toy, too! Flexible grinding toys can be rolled or semi-folded, then rubbed against or slid back and forth over the vulva manually. You can also lie squat or kneel and enjoy your grinding toy in that position, as well. 

Step by Step Instructions for Grinding Toys

Read the manufacturer's instructions

When you first get your grinding toy, read the instructions. Sex toy instructions are an often overlooked but important way to understand exactly how your toy works and how to use it. Be sure to note if your toy is waterproof or includes additional features like a travel lock.

The instructions should also give you clear directions for charging and cleaning it. Baffled by the instructions? Not sure how to turn on or charge a grinding toy you purchased from us? Feel free to email or chat with us! 

Wash your toy

Though your grinding toy may appear clean and ready to use right out of the box, it's always best to give it a thorough wash and dry before you take it for a spin. Waterproof toys can be washed with a mild soap or toy cleaner and are safe to submerge in water.

Toys that aren't waterproof can be carefully wiped down with toy cleaner and a damp towel. And don't forget to clean your toy after you use it, as well!

For more: How to Clean Sex Toys

Charge your toy

Most sex toys should be fully charged before you use them. This can take several hours, so plan your first pleasure session accordingly.

Choose the right lube

Lube may be the most important part of using a grinding toy. Why? Well, it's key for all types of play with sex toys and partners because it minimizes friction and makes everything feel more pleasurable. But lube is particularly crucial for grinding toys because of how you use them.

Unlike most sex toys, grinding toys are intended to slide and grind against. To maximize glide and feel best, grinding toys require plenty of lubrication. Most of these toys are made from silicone, which can be damaged by silicone lube. To protect your toy, choose from water-based, hybrid, or oil-based lubes instead. 

Here are some tips for using lube with a grinding toy:

  • Use it generously, on both yourself and the toy
  • Reapply often
  • Use lube all over the toy for easy gliding
  • Do a patch test on your skin in advance to make sure you don't have any sensitivities to the lube ingredients
  • Wash the toy thoroughly after use to remove all traces of lube and body fluids

On the hunt for the right lube? Read How to Choose a Lube

    Enjoy grinding

    Finally, the moment you've been waiting for! You've read the manufacturer's instructions and cleaned your toy. It's all charged up and ready to go. Now what? 

    If you've never used a grinding toy before, you may not be sure how to begin. Start with an easy position, such as setting your toy on a chair. Turn it on manually or with the remote control and place your hand on it to test out the vibration. Run through the settings this way to get a sense of how the stimulation feels and how the toy operates.

    As soon as you feel comfortable with the features and remote, lube up, sit on the toy, and activate a low setting. Don't be afraid to rest your entire weight on the toy and grind firmly. 

    How to grind, exactly? You can grind in any or all of the following ways:

    • In a circular motion
    • Back and forth 
    • Up and down
    • On your clitoris only
    • On your perineum and anus only, or in combination with clitoral stimulation

    And of course, feel free to get creative! One of the great things about grinding toys is that there are many ways to enjoy them. You can try them with warming lube, on your partner's lap, in the bathtub -- whatever feels best to you! 

    Check out the full list of our favorite grinding toys!