Complete Guide To Dildos
If you’re on the hunt for a dildo but have no idea where to start, fear not. In this guide, I'll discuss the many different types of dildos and how to choose the right one for you. You'll learn how to shop for dildos, how to use them, why they feel so damn good, and much more!
What Is A Dildo?
A dildo is a sex toy designed to be inserted in the vagina, anus, or mouth. A dildo is equally at home in solo or partnered play, and perfect for all genders, body types, and experience levels.
Dildos are typically phallic-shaped to mimic the look and feel of a penis, but not always! They come in a vast variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and designs, from smooth glass cylinders to realistic silicone models to gleaming stainless steel wands.
Though a dildo can play a starring role in penetrative sex of all kinds, penetration is absolutely not required. Allow me to inspire you with a look at the many creative ways to use a dildo.
How Do You Use A Dildo?
A dildo is typically used to stimulate internal erogenous zones through penetration. But, as with any sex toy, what you do with a dildo is entirely up to you. Penetration is just one of the many ways to enjoy a dildo, and there are no rules for how it can or should be used.
Here are some common and very pleasurable ways to wield a dildo:
- Thrust it in and out of your vagina, anus, or mouth
- Use it to stimulate the vulva and clitoris
- Use it for external or internal anal stimulation
- Sit on it
- Sit on it and grind
- Strap it into a harness
- Stick to a wall or floor and ride it
- Suck on it
- Slowly slip it in, half an inch at a time
- Slide it between your breasts
- Use it as an impact tool for spanking or slapping
- Lick it
- Use it for double penetration
- Kiss it
- Use it to practice oral sex and deep throating
- Slide it over your skin
- Tease a partner with it
- Hold it while you masturbate
Want to do something with a dildo but don't see it on the list? As long as it's safe (we'll discuss what makes a dildo anal-safe in a moment), anything goes when it comes to dildo play.
More: 5 Things I’d Never Do As a Sex Educator
Why Does Using A Dildo Feel Good?
Dildos feel good because they stimulate sensitive erogenous zones like the vagina and anus. Both the vulvovaginal and anal structures are packed with nerve endings that feel really good when stimulated, and a dildo is a great way to do just that.
Dildos can feel particularly fantastic when used to massage pleasure centers like the G- and P-spot. Certain areas like the A-spot — or anterior fornix, deep inside the vagina — are ideal to stimulate with a dildo, which can access harder-to-reach places more easily than fingers.
What are the G-spot, P-spot, and A-spot, and how can you use a dildo to stimulate them? Let's take a closer look.
What is the G-spot?
The G-spot is part of the internal clitoral network, and is located about 2 inches inside the vagina on the front wall. When stimulated, the G-spot can swell, expand, and get more sensitive, leading to intense pleasure and even climax. You can reach the G-spot with a penis, fingers, or (you guessed it!) a dildo.
Any dildo longer than 2 inches can stimulate the G-spot, but some toys are designed with a curved shaft or tip to target that area specifically. A dildo that curves upward can put more pressure on the G-spot and create a come here motion as it thrusts in and out, a tried-and-true way to achieve a G-spot orgasm or even squirt.
Ready to explore your G-spot? Browse our full collection of G-spot dildos
What is the P-spot?
The P-spot, formally known as the prostate, is a lot like the G-spot, but in men and people with penises. This walnut-sized gland sits about 2 inches inside the anus between the penis and bladder, and can be accessed with fingers, a penis, or a dildo.
As with the G-spot, any dildo over 2 inches long can stimulate the P-spot, but certain dildos are designed with prostate stimulation in mind. These toys have a curved and/or ridged shaft meant to press and pull on the P-spot to create a massaging sensation. For many people, consistent P-spot stimulation feels extremely pleasurable and can result in a prostate orgasm.
Curious about prostate massage? Take a look at our entire collection of P-spot dildos
What is the A-Spot?
The A-spot, technically known as the anterior fornix, is located deep inside the vagina between the bladder and cervix. It’s sometimes referred to as the deep spot because it’s higher up and harder to reach compared to the G-spot.
The A-spot is about 6 inches inside the vagina, meaning the average finger and penis might not be able to stimulate it. Enter the dildo!
To target the A-spot with a dildo, pick a toy with at least 6 inches of insertable length to fully stimulate the area. Rhythmic stroking of the anterior fornix can feel similar in intensity to G-spot stimulation and result in an anal orgasm.
Check out our full collection of dildos
Does A Dildo Feel Like A Real Penis?
A dildo can mimic the feeling of a penis, but will never be the real thing. And a lot of us like it that way.
A dildo feels different from a penis, and delivers pleasure the way only a dildo can. Not only does a dildo stimulate the same areas as a penis, but it offers some pleasurable perks of its own. Here are some benefits that are unique to a dildo:
It stays erect
A dildo is not a penis, which means it's always ready for action. It doesn't get tired, feel too sensitive, need to rest between sessions, or roll over and go to sleep before you climax. A dildo always shows up prepared to play, and stops whenever you want it to.
You choose how it feels
You can choose the density and firmness of your dildo according to your preferences. Soft and squishy, rigid and firm, somewhere in between -- it's completely up to you.
You choose the size
Dildos come in all shapes and sizes, meaning you can customize your pleasure with a toy that fits your body best. Slender, girthy, short, the same size as your first boyfriend — your wish is your dildo's command.
You choose the features
Dildos can vibrate, rotate, heat up, and do all kinds of things a penis can’t do. That doesn’t mean they’re superior, but it does make a wider variety of sensations available to you.They might look ultra-realistic, complete with balls and veins, or nothing like the real McCoy. Whatever your preference, there's a dildo for that.
It can’t make you pregnant
You can find a dildo that ejaculates, but you can’t find a dildo that will make you pregnant. If you want to enjoy penetrative play with no risk of a bun in the oven, a dildo could be the perfect solution.
It's gender/body affirming
For trans and non-binary folks, using a dildo can help mitigate feelings of gender/body dysphoria. People with penises who have size insecurities can strap on a dildo to feel more equipped to please their partners.
You can treat it however you like
You can be gentle with a dildo or rough. You can ignore it for weeks, demand that it perform every night, and use it relentlessly for your own pleasure, and your dildo will keep coming back for more.
How To Choose A Dildo
When it comes time to shop for a dildo, the options can feel overwhelming. Before you look through page after online page of toys, ask yourself these questions:
- How big do I want my dildo to be?
- What do I want it to feel like?
- What do I want it to do?
If you answered, “I don’t know,” to one or all of these questions, don't worry! We’re about to cover each category in detail so, by the end of this guide, you’ll have a better sense of what you’re looking for. Read on for more information on how to choose the dildo size, material, and features that best meet your needs.
When I say dildos come in all sizes, I mean that literally. From two inches to twelve and far beyond, dildos come in a head-spinning array of lengths and widths. How to choose which size is right for you? When pondering dimensions, keep a few things in mind:
Length and reach
Think about how far into your body you want your dildo to reach. If the goal is to reach the G-spot or P-spot, your dildo should offer at least 2 inches of insertable length. If you’re aiming for the A-spot, you’ll need to go a little deeper, with at least 6 inches of insertable length.
Width and stretch
If you enjoy a feeling of fullness and the sensation of being stretched at your vaginal or anal opening, you might want to explore dildos with a girthy diameter of 1.5 inches or more. Every body responds to size differently, but dildos with a diameter of less than 1.5 inches are on the slimmer side, and those with a shaft of 2 or more inches in diameter are considered very girthy.
If it’s your first time using a dildo or you feel a little nervous about sex toys in general, start small. There’s no reason to dive into an extra-large dil out of the gate. Beginners might want to start with something 4 to 5 inches in length and 1 to 1.4 inches in diameter. You can always size up when you feel ready.
Once you’ve settled on size, think about how you want your dildo to feel. Soft and squishy? Rigid and smooth? The firmness and texture of your dildo depends in part on what it’s made from.
To help guide you in the right direction, let’s examine the most popular dildo materials below. Spoiler alert: they’re all body-safe except for one.
Perhaps the fan-favorite, silicone dildos are known for their soft, smooth feel. They’re easy to clean, durable, non-porous, and body-safe. Silicone dildos are generally ideal for beginners because they’re lighter in weight and offer more give than hard materials like glass and stainless steel.
Glass dildos have a seamlessly smooth texture and a firm, rigid feel. They’re waterproof, body-safe, and are considered hard material toys, meaning they’re completely inflexible. Glass dildos can apply firmer, more focused pressure on targets like the G and P-spots, making them excellent tools for exploring vaginal and anal orgasms. Not to mention that glass is a fabulous conductor of heat, so try running it under hot water to enjoy an extra warm dildo.
Stainless steel dildos are also body-safe, hard material toys that make great conductors of heat, but they actually feel quite different from glass. Stainless steel is considerably heavier than glass, meaning it can apply more pressure. If you prefer firmer, more weighted pressure on your erogenous zones, a stainless steel dildo could be the perfect choice.
Also known as jelly rubber, PVC is a porous material that can harbor bacteria and pathogens, and even cause infection. Yes, you guessed it, this is the one material that’s not body-safe. It may be tempting to buy a PVC dildo because they’re inexpensive and sold by mega-corps like Amazon. But remember: quality costs, and it’s never wise to skimp when it comes to safety.
In addition to the materials listed here, you can also find dildos made from polished wood, crystal, ironwood, and just about anything else you can think of! No matter the material you choose, just be sure it’s non-porous and body-safe.
Types of dildos
Now it's time to consider what you want your vibrator to do. Do you want it to vibrate? Rotate? Target your G-spot? If you’re going to invest in a good dildo, pick the one that does precisely what you want it to.
Let’s take a closer look at the myriad features dildos have to offer.
As you probably guessed, vibrating dildos vibrate! They’re beloved for their ability to enhance stimulation during penetrative sex by sending buzzy or rumbly sensations throughout the vagina or anus. They often feature rabbit-style designs, which incorporate a clitoral vibrator for external stimulation. If you want to give your G or P-spot a supercharged massage, a vibrating dildo might be the toy for you.
Rotating dildos are uniquely pleasurable because they spin around, allowing the shaft to massage the vagina or anus in a circular motion. Because the shaft moves in circles, rotating dildos feel great without much effort in the thrusting department. In fact, you can simply insert it and hold it steady while it twirls against your erogenous zones.
Thrusting dildos are similar to rotating dildos in that they do a lot of the work for you. Thrusting dildos are designed to automatically create an in and out motion during penetration, making them a good choice for folks with hand or wrist mobility issues. You can just put it in, turn it on, lay back and enjoy.
Dildos that can be controlled with an app or wireless remote offer a hands-free experience, which can be especially useful during partnered play. Typically, these dildos vibrate, rotate, or offer other mechanized features that can be controlled with the tap of a button. App-controlled dildos, in particular, can often be controlled from afar, making them great for long-distance lovers.
A dildo with a dual-density design quite literally has two densities — a soft, squishy exterior and a firm core. Most people find this combination of soft and hard densities more realistic as compared to dildos that have the same firmness and feel throughout. Dual-density dildos are particularly good for strap-on play, as their firm cores help them stay erect.
A strap-on dildo is any dildo that can be fastened into a wearable harness. Some strap-on dildos vibrate, others feature external stimulators for the clitoris, and some don’t do anything but feel really good. They come in all shapes and sizes, but the one thing they all have in common is a flared base that can be strapped into a harness.
A strapless strap-on dildo is one you can wear without a harness. How do you keep it secure without a harness? An egg-shaped piece is inserted into the vagina to keep it from slipping out. This offers G-spot stimulation to the wearer as they thrust, which can make strap-on play a more mutually satisfying experience.
Fantasy dildos are the opposite of realistic dildos. They feature shapes, sizes, colors, and textures that don't exist on a human body. Dildos designed to look like tentacles, vegetables, and unicorn horns are all popular examples, but there’s even more variety than that. Some fantasy dildos are custom-made, which means just about anything you can think of can be transformed into a dildo.
A realistic dildo is one that closely resembles an anatomical penis, and can feature details like veins, testicles, and sliding skin. Realistic dildos can vibrate, rotate, or do other things that a real penis can't do, but they always mimic the look of an anatomical penis in some way.
A double-ended dildo is a dildo with two ends and no base. Double-ended dildos are designed to be used by two people simultaneously or for double penetration by one person, and they’re usually significantly longer than the average dildo.
Some dildos are designed to shoot cum just like a real penis does, except the cum if fake. Typically, the fake cum is pushed through tubing that’s built into the core of the dildo and attached to a syringe. Just fill the syringe with your substitute baby batter and pump it through the tubing by pushing down on the plunger. Squirting dildos are a fun way to explore cum play fantasies or to feel affirmed in your gender.
P & G-Spot
P- and G-spot dildos come in all shapes, sizes, and materials, but have one thing in common — a curve. The shaft of the dildo curves upward to precisely target the prostate or G-spot, and can range from a subtle arch to a sharp angle.
Any dildo that can be used vaginally can also be used anally if it's anal-safe. A anal dildo must have a flared base to be considered safe, meaning the end of the dildo is wider than the shaft. Without a flared base, a dildo could potentially get lost inside the rectum and require medical intervention to remove.
Suction cup dildos are ideal for solo and partnered play because they offer a fun, hands-free experience. You simply stick a suction cup dildo to a wooden or plastic chair, the wall of your shower, or any smooth, flat surface that strikes your fancy. You can even stick two suction cup dildos together to create a double-ended dildo to share with a partner.
These dildos are hollowed out on the inside to accommodate a penis. If you want to enhance your size, experiment with different textures, or simply switch up the sensation, you can slip a hollow dildo over your penis, secure it with a strap-on harness, and penetrate your partner.
Tips For Using a Dildo
No matter which dildo you choose or how you use it, there are a few things that can make it extra enjoyable.
Use plenty of lube
It’s always a good idea to use lube when playing with sex toys, especially dildos and butt plugs. Even if you produce plenty of natural lubrication, lubing up your dildo makes for easier, more comfortable insertion and seamless thrusting.
Make sure you’re aroused
If you think about arousal as a scale from 1 to 10 — 1 being not aroused at all and 10 being ready to explode if you don’t get stimulated ASAP — your arousal should be around an 8 before using a dildo. If you insert a dildo before you’re properly aroused, it can feel uncomfortable, painful, or like nothing at all.
Take your time
Once you’re fully aroused, well-lubricated, and ready to insert your dildo, take your time, especially if you're new to dildo play. Teasing the outside of a vulva or anus with a dildo can be a great way to stimulate erectile tissue before you put it in. Then, enjoy slow, steady penetration until you feel ready to pick up the pace.
Choose your own depth
There's no rule that says you have to use the whole dildo. If your dildo is 7 inches long, you can use (or not use) as many of those inches as you like. When you first insert your dildo, you might find that using half or less of its insertable length is more comfortable. As you get accustomed to the feeling, you may want to insert more. You can control the depth of penetration however you like.
The general mechanics of using a dildo are pretty easy, but making it the most pleasurable experience possible can take a little practice! So be patient with yourself, consider the guidelines above, and have fun.
How Do You Clean A Dildo?
Proper cleaning helps to maintain the integrity of your dildo’s material and keep it body-safe. Before cleaning your dildo, check the manufacturer's instructions and keep these simple wash care rules in mind:
Porous toys can’t be fully cleaned
Porous toys absorb bacteria, can't be fully cleaned, and are not safe to use inside the body. That’s why dildos made from PVC and TPE are a no-go.
Only silicone and stainless steel can be boiled
Boiling your dildos can be a great way to thoroughly sanitize them, but it’s important to note that only pure silicone and stainless steel toys without motors are safe to boil. Glass, ABS plastic, crystal, and polished wood are all body-safe materials, but can be damaged by high temperatures.
Don’t leave it in the sun
Leaving a dildo in direct sunlight can cause color changes and potential damage, regardless of material.
Invest in proper toy cleaner
It’s usually fine to wash a dildo with mild soap and water, but I always recommend using a cleaning spray specifically formulated for sex toys to ensure a complete clean leave behind soap, fragrances, or chemical residue.
Learn complete information about cleaning dildos, check out How To Clean Your Sex Toys
Which Dildo Should I Buy?
Still not sure which toy is best for you? Looking for a tried-and-true dildo that gets high marks? I've put together a list of some of my favorite dildos in the most popular categories.
Best Dildos for Beginners
Fun Factory Amor This pretty pink dildo is made from smooth silicone, is modestly sized, and it doesn’t come with unnecessary bells and whistles. The Amor's straightforward design makes it a great starter dildo, and the subtle curve feels amazing on the P- or G-spot.
Tantus Acute Dildo Aptly named “acute,” this cutie is naturally-sized and subtly angled for easy, comfortable penetration. It has a glossy finish for maximum glide, and a slightly ridged shaft for a gentle G or P-spot massage. The Acute is easy to clean, fully waterproof, and can be strapped into a harness or enjoyed solo.
Fun Factory Limba Flex Small, flexible, and customizable, this dildo makes an excellent starter toy. You can literally bend and shape it into the dildo that fits your body best thanks to its adjustable design and silicone structure. It’s harness compatible, waterproof, and can be used as a packer, too!
Collage Tattooed Silicone Dildo Not all beginner dils have to be small! This gorgeous dildo offers 6 inches of insertable length, a moderately girthy shaft, and a deliciously ridged body. But its primary appeal might just be its pretty “tattooed” exterior!
Best for P & G-Spot Stimulation
Le Wand Stainless Steel Hoop This shiny, stainless steel beauty is perfectly curved for targeted G or P-spot stimulation. Its weighty construction enhances focused pressure on your pleasure centers, making it a great pick if you want to explore vaginal or prostate orgasms.
Hot Octopuss Kurve The Kurve features a super soft gel tip, ergonomic contours, and 5 inches of insertable length. And, of course, the shaft is curved to perfectly target the G or P-spots! Add 5 vibration patterns to the mix, and you’ve got yourself one very pleasurable P and G-spot dildo.
Chrystalino Superior Glass Wand Here we have a smooth, glass dildo that’s dramatically curved for G and P-spot pleasure. Its rigidity offers firm, targeted pressure while its silky glass surface provides the ultimate glide. Plus, it’s fantastic for temperature play.
Fun Factory Bouncer If you’re looking for a dildo with a little something extra but find vibration distracting, this could be the dildo for you. Instead of a vibrating motor, the Bouncer has three weighted balls that shift inside the shaft as it moves, creating a deeper, more organic sensation. It’s long, thick, and curved for G and P-spot pleasure.
Best for Strap-On Play
Fun Factory Boss. The Boss is long, thick, and cleverly curved for intense internal stimulation. It's made from body-safe silicone that offers a firm yet squishable feel, and features realistic details that add yummy texture to the shaft. A wide suction cup base makes it perfect for strapping into a harness or sticking to a shower wall.
Strap-On-Me Remote Vibe. Made from silky silicone and equipped with 3 motors, this strapless strap-on vibrates everywhere so both partners can enjoy rumbly stimulation. It’s fully waterproof, remote-controlled, and features a flexible, bendable neck that securely hugs the wearer’s G-spot.
Fun Factory Sharevibe. With its clever curves and dual-dildo design, this strapless strap-on is designed for mutual stimulation. The shorter bulb offers both G-spot and clitoral pleasure for the giver, while the receiver can enjoy a smooth, perfectly angled shaft. If you’re looking for a strap-on that can help you and your partner orgasm simultaneously, this is it.
Strap-On-Me Sliding Skin Realistic Dual-Density. The name pretty much says it all. This harnessable dildo has an ultra realistic feel with a sliding silicone exterior, dual-density design, pronounced head, and squishy balls. It’s also fully waterproof, has a strong suction cup base, and comes in a variety of sizes.
Best Vibrating Dildos
Femme Funn Turbo Shaft Rotating Vibrator. It vibrates, it rotates, and it’s anatomically realistic — talk about a winning combo. With almost 8 inches of insertable length and a girth to match, this vibrating dildo aims to please. Use it in a harness or solo, for vaginal or anal play. There’s not much this dildo can’t do!
Suckle Rose Toy. Not sure if you want a vibrating dildo or an air pressure toy? No need to choose with the Suckle Rose Toy. Shaped like a long-stemmed rose, this pretty toy combines the best of both worlds in one soft, silicone package. It’s also fully waterproof and whisper quiet.
Together Couples’ Vibe 2.0. This rabbit-style double dildo offers couples a way to literally come together. Perfect for face-to-face intimacy, this couples' vibe features an Echo Function that allows you to feel your partner’s arousal in a real-time response. It’s soft, body-safe, and can be controlled with a remote up to 30 feet away.
Candy Raspberry Rabbit. A ridged, raspberry-colored shaft made from Bioskin gives this vibrating dildo a realistic feel with a fantasy aesthetic. Its curved handle makes it easy to grip for easy thrusting while its external stimulator adds clitoral vibration to the game. It’s fully waterproof and submersible for bathtime fun.
Best Budget-Friendly Dildos
DilDolls Utopia. This eye-catching dildo could easily fit into several categories. It’s great for beginners, awesome for strap-on play, and curved for P-and G-spot stimulation as well. I had to put it in the budget-friendly category, though, because it’s such a good dildo for a very reasonable price.
Fantasy Unicorn Dildo with Bullet Vibe Here we have two toys for one very reasonable price. This set of toys includes a fantasy-style dildo that mimics a unicorn horn with its spiral-ribbed texture and straight, statuesque structure, as well as a mini vibrating bullet!
Avant Suko It can be tough to find a dual-density dildo on a budget, but the Suko fills the bill beautifully. It features a firm core, squishy exterior, and super strong suction cup base for easy solo riding. It’s anal-safe, harness-compatible, and surprisingly affordable for a platinum-cured silicone dildo.
VeDO Quiver With 7 inches of vibrating, insertable length, this dildo has every right to be a pricey product, but we’re glad it’s not! Its smooth, silicone exterior delivers a nice glide, and its subtly bulbous shaft massages the vaginal opening as it slips in and out.
What lube should I use with my dildo?
The type of lubricant you use will depend on the material your dildo is made from. Silicone dildos are compatible with water-based lubes, but can be damaged by silicone-based lubes. Stainless steel dildos are compatible with any kind of lube.
For more on picking the right lube for all kinds of sex toys including dildos, check out How To Choose A Lube
How should I store my dildo?
It’s best to store your dildo in a cool, dry place, not in contact with other toys. Toys made from TPE, such as strokers, or PVC, can damage or stain a silicone dildo. Keeping your dildo in its own storage case can help protect it from dust and other airborne particles.
Is it safe to buy dildos from Amazon?
In general, buying sex toys from Amazon is not safe. Counterfeit, stolen, and knock-off products, some made from toxic materials, are common on Amazon. Other sources of low-quality sex toys include eBay and Ali Express, as well as corporate retailers like Lovehoney, which carries a large number of PVC products that can cause infections and leach toxic chemicals into the body.
Remember: there's a reason why cheap sex toys are cheap.
Do strapless strap-on dildos really work?
Strapless strap-ons do work, and can be a great way to experience mutual pleasure with your partner. Because the part you hold inside the vagina isn't fastened to anything, the dildo can slip out. Using a strapless strap-on with a harness can let you enjoy internal stimulation and keep the dildo secure at the same time.